Here is the highlights video of our trip! Right click on the link and select Save As, or Save Target As:

Staples 2 Naples 2005 (24Mb, Windows Media format)

Photo galleries from our trip are also available here:

Kev's photos
Dan's photos

Tiredness and time prevent me from writing too much but, to put it simply:

WE MADE IT!

Sadly, the Hazcar is no longer a part of the team. After over 1,800 miles up and down the motorways and mountains of France, Switzerland and Italy, we had to leave her sitting in a scrapyard in Naples, Italy.

What we have learned on this trip:

• The Staples 2 Naples rally is outrageously good fun.
• The Staples 2 Naples rally can be very stressful.
• Switzerland is spectacularly beautiful.
• Italy is bigger than you think.
• The Italians understand the appeal of such silliness. Even Italians driving Ferrari 360s and Police cars gave us the thumbs up.
• The Swiss do not understand the appeal of such silliness.
• Driving up mountains can produce some strange noises from your gearbox.
• Driving down mountains can produce some strange noises from your brakes.
• Prop shafts may wobble but they don't fall out. Well, they might but ours didn't.
• Make sure your spare tyre is good.
• Take two spare tyres. Possibly three, or four if you can fit them in.
• Beware of dodgy tyre valves, dodgy tyres and nails in the road.
• Driving a £62 car for over 1,800 miles is quite an experience.

The clutch issue is hopefully as simple as a lack of fluid, and subsequently air in the system. There's a slow leak and we'd just neglected to check it so it's been bled and topped up as I type.

Meanwhile, here's a team photo.

What we have learned so far:

• Check your fluids.
• Check your car's fluids.
• A car going to a garage can feel like a relative going to hospital.

2 days to go, 2 problems to solve. Serves us right for getting confident.

After a run from Melton to Towcester this morning, the beast decided that it's clutch was having no more abuse, and stopped working properly. A frantic search for knowledge begun, and pouring in clutch fluid seems to have solved the problem, but we still have to find the leak so that's tonights mission, and the scheduled trip to Stoke-on-Trent is sadly cancelled. Sorry SPONTE!

We also need a new spare tyre.

What we have learned so far:

• Don't get confident with a 25 year old car.
• Check all fluid levels before every journey.
• Clutches are good things.
• Don't trust tyre places.

So, after a good run yesterday with no apparent problems, it was time to clean and decorate.

Kev called in Claire and Karen; a couple of arty types, who supplied paint, brushes and most importantly, ideas and talent. The first step was the stripes, something we decided we wanted before we'd even begun to look for a car. The effect was even better than we had hoped for, giving the 929L a really sporty look (obviously that's sporty in the 'Vauxhall Corsa with bodykit' sense, rather than actually sporty).

Also today, Jez worked on fitting a webcam so that we can get a time lapse video of the whole trip. If that works, it'll be superb so let's hope we don't get a fly wedged in the lense.

The cleaning and painting took up the whole day, but the effort was well worth it. And here are the results of several months hard work.

(click the picture for full size)

(click the picture for full size)

What we have learned so far:

• Viper stripes can make any car look cool.
• Flames can make any black car look cool.
• Hammerite works well on cars.
• Rust holes are very handy for wiring.
• Painting your enormous middle eastern car in garish reds and yellows with enormous writing on the side seems to attract attention.

The carburettor was bolted on last night, and it's running a million times better now. The mission for Saturday was to:

• get the new water pump in
• change the oil
• fix the temperature guage
• get a radio working
• rig up the electronic wizardry.

Dan and Jez fitted the new water pump, and it's made a tremendous difference to the engine, which now sounds nice and quiet instead of like a bag of spanners. The bearings in the old pump were completely knackered, and it's now clear that the chances of us making it to Naples with it would have been miniscule.

We decided to leave the oil, as it seems to be OK and we have to balance anything we pay out now with the fact that it only has to last for 5 days.

The temperature guage seems to have been disconnected but we couldn't see where from. We did manage to get a thermostat, however, and with that, the new radiator and the shiny water pump, we really shouldn't be overheating now. Having said that, one of the wings got suspiciously hot but we believe that if we just ignore it, it won't be a problem.

The radio has long been considered a vital piece of equipment since without it, we'd have to talk to each other for four days. Nobody wants that, so Jez successfully wired up a head unit so that we can play tunes through an iPod, using some sort of witchcraft.

Jez also managed to up with the sat nav system which will prove very handy should we make it out of Leicestershire. It was a bit off at first, insisting that we were parked on a golf course some way away, but a little poking around got that fixed.

We ended the day by checking the tyre pressures, and amazingly there was a sticker on the door with them on. Even more amazingly, it was in English.

They should be 26psi at the front and 32psi at the rear. Ours were 26psi at the front and 15 and 18psi at the rears. That may explain the terrifying handling at speeds then.

Well, that and the fact that it's a huge, RWD barge with leaf spring suspension and all the handling abilities of a plate of jelly.

What we have learned so far:

• Knackered water pumps can make a car sound like it's about to die.
• Cars should have thermostats.
• The beast can sustain 70mph without catching fire!
• Check your tyre pressures. Go on.

Holy shit, 7 days to go!

I went for a bit of a spin this morning to give the old beast a bit of fresh air. The choke is still sticking so it's a bit tricky to keep the revs up when cold, but once she warmed up everything seems to be better. It certainly helps having the carb bolted on - I'd certainly recommend it.

I made the mistake of clashing this short trip round the block with the local school run. Avoiding small children in a misted up car with no power-steering and the handling qualities of a bucket of sand might sound easy, but it's actually quite tricky.

It did, however, demonstrate that our beast with it's new radiator (currently held on by two bolts and a cable tie) can terrify 5 year olds, so I think we did a solid job there. Now I fully understand the mentality behind buying a BMW X5 and driving it where there's a concentration of children.

If we can get the new water pump fitted at the weekend, we're looking good to at least get out of the county!

What we have learned so far:

• Holy shit, 7 days to go!
• This car is almost big enough to do the school run in.
• Carburettors work better when not bouncing up and down.

The plot thickens.

Based on the chassis number, we've been told that our car is not a 1984 model at all, and was in fact built between 1979 and 1982.

So it could be 26 years old (it certainly looks it).

We're hopefully going to get a new water pump but the question is whether to fit it before we leave and risk causing more damage, or to take it with us just in case. You can imagine how easy it will be to fit, parked up on the side of a mountain road in Switzerland.

What we have learned so far:

• Unipart are great.
• Don't believe the registration documents.
• Imported cars that were never sold in the UK are a pain in the arse to get parts for.

Some progress on locating a water pump today, but first we have to locate the engine number. We know it's not the original engine so we can't be completely sure that the number on the V5 is accurate.

So Kev will be going round it tonight with a cloth.

What we have learned so far:

• Google is great.

Some steps forward, some steps back this weekend.

We have fitted a shiny 'new' radiator to replace the even-more-knackered-than-we-thought old one so hopefully that will solve, or at least help, our overheating issues.

We also discovered that the carburetor is not bolted on to the car in any way, shape or form, so fixing that on should solve the constant stalling issues.

Our big problem now is that the water pump has started to leak. This, we assume, means it is on borrowed time. It just has to last for 15 days because getting a replacement could prove impossible with such an unusual car. We're desparately hoping Mazda made them as standard through the range as they did their radiators. If anyone out there has seen one like this then please let us know!

But, some good news is that we have now passed the 100 mile mark in the car since we bought it. It's only broken down twice, and at that rate we should break down about 60 times between here and Naples.

What we have learned so far:

• Mazda are consistent.
• Going just 100 miles in a car can be deserving of celebration.
• Carburetors should be attached somehow.

An interesting and educational evening. Jez and Kev went to Nottingham to pick up a radiator from an old Cavalier. The car was stalling on the way there but that's probably just the idle needs adjusting so that's not too much of a worry. Yet.

There was no overheating last night, in the engine bay at least. To try and keep hot air out of the engine bay, the blowers were on full blast so while the water remained below boiling, the temperature in the cabin was tropical.

On the journey back, it was decided that it might be wise to let the engine cool for a while, before another strenuous motorway journey. This was a mistake, as the bloody thing wouldn't start 10 minutes later, possibly due to a sticking starter motor.

A quick push and the engine roared back into life. The kind of roar you'd expect from a lion halfway through eating a toolbox.

What we have learned so far:

• If the engine is running, just keep going.
• A 1984 Mazda 929 at the side of the road with the bonnet up makes people stare.
• A continuous stream of hot air can melt your face.
• Being overtaken by a lorry is not good for the ego.

We've made some progress with the radiator problem. After some very useful advice from West End Motors in Loughborough, we're going to have a go at pulling the radiator and all aircon bits out and putting another radiator in.

The bonnet release problem has also been solved. Our previous method - pulling the corners of the bonnet up - didn't seem to achieve much, other than bending the corners of the bonnet, so we have adopted a highly advaned technique known as a bit of wire.

However, the first method was not in vain, as it had the bonus of improving the aerodynamics of the car by at least 250%!

We won't need aircon because we can just wind the windows down. Some of them will wind nearly half way!

Meanwhile, Kev has been busy stretching his mechanical limits, by removing the stickers from the windows. The number 4 sticker was left on, because it is in keeping with the obvious motorsport heritiage of the car.

We are also planning a fundraising and sponsorship blitz in the remaining two weeks.

What we have learned so far:

• 1980s aerodynamics can easily be improved.
• A small wire can cause a big problem.

After a huge number of phone calls to the DVLA and the DVLNI, and a mass of paperwork, we finally were able to tax the car and get it legally on the road.

So a momentous step forward was made last night and we now have the car in our incapable hands.

The first epic journey was a 25 mile drive from Nottingham to Loughborough, with Kev at the wheel and Dan following to pick up any bits that fell off.

The car was pretty much running dry so we pulled into the petrol station, to hear the wonderful noise of steam coming from the overheating radiator. So we popped the bonnet to get some cool air in... or we would have popped the bonnet if that was possible, but the bonnet release cable had come away from the hook.

Eventually we got into the engine bay, and attempted to work out why the rusty, knackered old radiator isn't cooling the engine properly. Our conclusion was that the radiator isn't cooling the engine properly because it is rusty, knackered and old.

Our new problem is finding a radiator for a car that was never even sold in the UK.

What we have learned so far:

• Buying cars with no V5 is a pain in the arse.
• Buying cars with no V5 that are still registered in Northern Ireland is an even bigger pain in the arse.
• Bonnet hooks are extremely useful, when attached to the lever in the car.
• The heaters on a 21 year old car from Saudi Arabia smell strange.
• If 25 miles at 55mph on flat motorway equals overheating, 2,000 miles at 55mph up and down mountains will equal... nuclear meltdown?

We're doing this to raise money for the Red Cross so please donate!