Stonehenge Apocalypse (2010)

Apocalypse England...ish #

I like what are generally considered "bad" films, but it's a tricky field to navigate.

To me, there are different types of films that are described as bad.

1. There are the Sharknado type films which are "bad on purpose". I've no interest in these. They feel like money making machines where the art here is all in the marketing, not the film making. They probably aren't that interested in whether you enjoy the film or not, as long as you've paid. I suppose the appeal is to casual filmgoers, who want to feel like they've seen something outrageous, but from what I've seen, these films are usually quite dull.

2. Then we have films made by people who love film but are constrained with what they have. Often with almost no budget and limited access to actors and equipment. This is where there can be lots of fun, and you can sometimes feel that people are really trying, even if the film itself is objectively not great. I like these. Sometimes they're unwatchable, sometimes they're good, and sometimes they have great bits but don't work overall. An example of one of these is Killer Sofa, which I thought was perfect for a film of this type.

3. And then there are films that exist in a weird zone in-between, where we find films like Stonehenge Apocalpyse. I've no idea why these films get made, but they do. Maybe it's a training ground for actors and production, maybe there's a TV schedule and they have to fill it with a film about something, or maybe it's a tax thing.

Regardless, I guess this one was cashing in on the daft 2012 doomsday Mayan calendar stuff that was going around at the time because apparently Stonehenge is part of a global network of electro-magnetic ancient buildings, connected to the Pyramids of Egypt and South America, and something about electro-magnetic forces. I don't really know and I don't think it really matters. I don't think this warrants spoiler tags.

Setting aside the plotting all ancient buildings as being built together, rather than at different times, the main reason I kept watching this one is that I found it hilarious. For a film set in England, I would take a punt that there isn't a single frame in this film that was shot in England. They occasionally made an effort; sometimes a car would have a British number plate and drive on the left, although they didn't consider which side the steering wheel was supposed to be.

The British signs all have American spellings, Stonehenge is apparently up near Sunderland, and there's all sorts of fun to be had wondering what accent each character might come out with.

My favourite bit was when hero dude (American, obviously) gets spotted by some security. He greets them - unironically - with, "top o' the morning to ye, lads".

Honestly, I'd recommend it, especially to Brits, but it might need to be supported by friends and beer.